It's not me, it's YOU

For some unknown reason, I'm never completely on the same page as the guy I'm dating. Either I'm over here frolicking cluelessly through the green pastures of love or I'm way over yonder twiddling my thumbs, spinning around in circles trying to figure out what the hell this fool wants from me. To be fair, I'm an extremely complex creature that's both emotionally draining and insane...just like every other girl. WAIT, what am I saying?? That doesn't sound like me at all. I'm pretty simple. Feed me, make me laugh, show me adventure and spend quality time with me and I'll be happy. Of course there are the obvious things such as being honest with me and complimenting me every 15 minutes on how smart/beautiful/funny/ravishing/wonderful I am, but there's no need to demand the obvious. As I've gotten older, I feel that I've become more open about my wants and needs before casually dating someone so we can avoid that awkward stage where neither one of us is aware of the other's expectations. Despite my efforts, I somehow always find myself in that place. Clearly, this isn't completely my fault. Guys have repeatedly put thoughts and ideas into my head that I would have never thought of on my own because, in reality, those things were nowhere near what I wanted. I've come to the conclusion that it's not me, it's YOU. You, dear sir, are the problem. I'm convinced that guys get together, plot and come up with things to tell us females to 1) confuse us and 2) make us think we're crazy because we were the ones who thought of it first.

If this clown hadn't brought up the stupid idea of a long distance relationship, vacationing in Europe, marrying me, then I would have never entertained the idea. Unfortunately, with the way many of us females work/think, we begin to romanticize these ideas. Who wouldn't want to take an adventure of a lifetime with a super cool dude?? Again, it's not my fault, and it's not your fault either lady, it's HIS fault. So stop thinking it's completely your fault and accept the fact that although he may play dumb, or maybe he actually is dumb, he could also be using you as his personal puppet, just stringing you along in high hopes that he'll confuse the crap out of you in order to make him appear less confused and crazy.

Here are some of my favorite things that guys have done/told me that confused the heck out of me:
1. The guy who put the idea of marriage into my head and then got upset with me when I said we should do it
2. The guy who told me we didn't talk enough, then told me we talked too much and got upset with me for making him too happy
3. The guy who made me believe that I was the one, but later decided I was a bi***, ignored me for over a year and then decided he wanted to ruin my life all over again

Feel free to share some of the ridiculous things that guys have done or said to you in the comments below!