Yeah, you got it! You know you got it!

Has anyone ever told you "you can't do that because [insert lame excuse because they're hating/don't believe in you/are just negative about everything]"? Yeah, me too! And I gotta be honest, I've doubted myself at times too. You're right, there could be someone better, smarter, more experienced, or whatever else you may think, but they may lack the motivation and passion that you have. That's why you're here, that's why we're all here. We believe in change.

The start of a NEW chapter: HAWAII Edition

These past few months have been some of the best and most difficult of my life. Not too long ago I was hopping on a plane back to Texas with hopes of returning to New York soon. Instead, here I am, 6 months later, making a stop in New York, only to head to Hawaii.

Worst Date EVER

There haven't been many times in my life where I have felt unsafe or scared because of a situation I was in. I have this mentality, like many of us do, that "it" (whatever that it may be) will never happen to me. You always see news stories or hear it through the grapevine that this happened to that person, but never do you think that these sorts of outrageous things could happen to you. Location isn't the only factor, but it has a lot to do with it. Living in New York I should have better prepared myself mentally, but I thank my dad for all of the preventative teachings and countless hours that he sat me down to tell me how it is.

Why people can't handle the truth

Coming to the end of a relationship (any type of relationship) is hard. More than likely, you're going to tell the person the reason you're breaking up with them--like any normal person would do--in hopes that they may become more self aware and change their wicked ways. People always say that they'd rather someone be honest with them than be told a big, fat, juicy lie to spare their feelings. They don't want things heavily coated with sugar or tip-toed around like a sneaky toddler, they want the hard truth. I know I personally would prefer it if someone just gave it to me like it is instead of avoiding me or waiting an entire year to tell me how they really feel as if my time wasn't worth anything. Although people say they want the truth, the fact of the matter is that hearing the truth is hard. Even if it's done with the best intentions, no one really wants to hear the truth.

You're telling people that there's a problem with the way they act, so it looks like you're attacking who they are. You're telling them there's a problem with a situation, so you're telling them that they messed up with the way they handled things and therefore it is their fault. It's never easy hearing that you've done something wrong or that something was your fault--it comes with a very dissatisfying feeling. I've felt it, I've dealt it, denied it and supplied it. The fact of the matter is, the truth can be damaging sometimes for several reasons: 1) the spotlight is being put on an unwelcomed problem/situation, 2) there's the potential of creating a new problem (toying with someone's emotions is never a good thing), and 3) more than likely, a solution or some helpful advice is not being offered as aide to what you did not want to hear. If a solution is being offered, the person may take it offensively and then there's that problem.

When giving it to someone like it is, remember that you're dealing with a person that has real emotions and not just some carbon cut-out, robot freak that used to be your best friend or significant other. You don't want to beat around the bush, but you should be constructive when letting someone know that there's a problem going on. Hey, for all you know, they may be completely unaware and appreciative that you're trying to save them from themselves. Just remember, treat others the way you want to be treated...so let em down easy.

SHHHH! You're gonna wake my roommates!

He told me to be quiet because there was a guy living in his closet. YES, a real, live guy living in the small space that was his walk-in closet. I mean, it's not so weird having someone crash on your living room couch or maybe even on an air mattress in your room, but to have someone living in your closet is a bit odd. Although, I'm sure that guy appreciated the little privacy he did have.

Some of the great things about living situations while you're young are: having funky transition periods where you move to new places with no job and have to couch-surf with friends; not making enough money to at least buy an apartment where everyone has their own room (been there, done that); and having to find a new place to live after your landlord just kicked you out for not paying rent-shment--he knew you were an aspiring actor. In any of these situations, it can be difficult to adjust to the crazy, hectic lifestyle that comes along with living with multiple people. It's not as simple as who cleans when and who gets what cabinet space. If you're a decent human being, you have to be mindful of making too much noise when you come in late after a night out, the smell from your fish tacos that fills up someone else's room, and the slamming of doors early in the morning as your roommate is just about to doze off after working a 15-hour overnight shift. You're right, it is your space; but if you're letting someone live with you out of the kindness of your heart, you need to be an adult about things and set some ground rules before you get the ball rolling.

When I moved to New York almost 2 years back, one of the first things me and my 3 roomies did was sit down and have a long discussion about who gets what space, setting rules and expectations, and coming up with a cleaning schedule...because no one likes living in a pigsty. Here are some things to keep in mind when you're not living alone:

1. You are NOT the only person living there
2. No one wants to hear you slam the door
3. So turn the doorknob when closing the front/bathroom/bedroom door
4. And make sure that you're not making a ruckus when you come in late
5. This isn't your mama's house
6. Put your dishes in the sink
7. Wash your own dishes and put them away
8. And if you're feeling generous, wash all the dishes
9. Then leave a note reminding everyone to return the favor by...
10. Taking out the trash when it's full
11. Wiping the counter after they spill hot sauce all over it
12. And not leaving food that will smell up the house in the garbage
13. You may or may not be the only one with a job that has normal hours
14. So don't take an hour long shower
15. And don't get ready in the bathroom when you have your bedroom
16. And most importantly, don't forget to spray and turn on the air vent/open the window
17. Just because it's in the refrigerator does not mean you can eat it
18. If you eat it, replace it ASAP
19. Be hospitable to guests...they're GUESTS for crying out loud!
20. Make people want to come back
21. And make sure that you let your roomies know when people will be coming over
22. Talk about the max amount of time people can stay and
23. What they can do to pitch in
24. If you don't want people using your things, then put them in your designated area
25. Because common spaces are just that...COMMON...meaning it's for everyone
26. Try not to forget your keys or lose them
27. No one is obligated to rush home just for you
28. COMMUNICATE!
29. There's no need to be passive-aggressive
30. Don't be the a**hole that no one wants to live with because you turn into Godzilla anytime something happens that you don't like

I know, it's challenging living with other people. You may not be able to walk around without pants or you have to scrub the tub when it's your turn every other week, but I promise that you'll live. Think of it this way: all the money you're saving on rent is money that you can use to not spend time at your apartment by going out and doing cool things like traveling and going to have fancy-shmancy drinks after work and going out for brunch on the weekends. Remember: keep it classy and don't get sassy.

First date, first impressions

First impressions are EVERYTHING. Think of them as the deciding factor whether you will be that job you've always dreamt of or working at a shit-hole for the rest of your life. Within the first few seconds of meeting someone I can already tell if I'm going to like them or if they're going to be a waste of my time. I don't hate many things in life, but if there's one thing that I do hate it's having my time wasted. If you're going to ask me (or any person) out on a date it would be great if you gather up enough information about me to put a couple of good ideas down on the drawing board or that you've asked me for suggestions of things I do and/or don't like so you can muster up a plan of action. Now, I've been on some really awesome first dates and some not so awesome ones where I wanted to crawl out of a bathroom window in order to escape awkwardness/boredom/the guy that was sitting across the table from me. In hopes that this may help someone, I have come up with some things to keep in mind when it comes to first dates.

BEFORE

• PLAN- There's nothing I hate more than meeting up with a guy that asks me what I want to eat or what I'd like to do. You should have asked me BEFORE, like, when we were texting.
• NOTIFY- Let them know what the date will be consisting of so they can dress accordingly. You don't want to show up to dinner dressed like you're going to the club!
• PREPARE- Although this is not an interview, you want to make sure that you have things to talk about and that you're not being socially awkward (in case you normally are).
• ***NOTE: When planning the date, cross out the idea of long walks across bridges or any other ideas that you had where the only means of escaping is by jumping off of/out of/into something. You want the date to be good, but you also want to prepare for the worst!

DURING

• DON'T: complain or rant about your ex, your toe fungus, that funky smell that's been accompanying the itch in your crotch, or how you're a mama's boy.
• DO: compliment her on how nice she looks, look engaged while she's talking, ask follow-up questions, and make her laugh!
• ***NOTE: Unless you've mentioned that you two will be "going Dutch," there should be no reason for you not to pay if you were the one who invited.

AFTER: THE KISS...and other things to follow

• DON'T: assume that she wants to kiss you, come at her with your mouth wide open, slobber on her, shove your tongue down her throat, or be the creep that insists he take her home/make sure she gets home safely after she already told your ass no.
• DO: be a gentleman (maybe it would be appropriate to ask for you), let her know that you had a [insert well-thought out word or phrase here] time, and RELAX! It's not the end of the world.
• ***NOTE:  NO MEANS NO! Don't beg like a puppy dog--it's just sad.

Remember, first impressions are important; especially if you're wanting things to progress (in anything). Be yourself--not a creep or a weirdo--and do something fun! Life's too short to only go on dinner and movie dates. (Check back soon for some fun date ideas!)

Being this happy makes me ANXIOUS.

I love, Love, LOVE the feelings I first have when I'm dating someone--everything is rainbows and butterflies and unicorns and I feel like I'm floating on cloud 9. You enter into this magical realm of bliss where you and your significant other run through fields of flowers, holding hands all day everyday. What could be better?? He's perfect, she's perfect, you're perfect, everything is perfect. It's great! But it doesn't take too long before I realize that things may be too perfect and I start to internally panic, waiting for Godzilla to appear and reign terror on my beautiful, new relationship.

WAIT...

I think I hear him...

No, that was my imagination running wild again. To say the least, I get anxious when I'm too happy. This is REAL life we're talking about, people. Things aren't meant to be perfect and idealism is just an idea. At least that's what I tell myself right before I start conjuring up a list of everything that can and will go wrong in my relationship. You know you do it too! Before you know it, you're hacking into Facebook and email accounts, cracking iPhone and Android locked phone codes, and following them around like Sherlock Holmes trying to solve the mystery of why all hell hasn't broken lose with your close-to-perfect better half. (I say "better" because clearly you're insane if you're doing all of that extra stuff, which automatically makes them better.)

Why do I do this to myself?? Why do YOU do this to yourself? It's not that I don't want to be happy or that being happy upsets me. I think it's more of the fear of failure--adding another name to the list of relationships that have gone down in shambles because I [insert absurd idea about why you're not good enough here]. As I've gotten older, I've realized that I get anxious not so much because I'm waiting for things to go wrong, but I'm more so anxious to know whether or not that feeling is going to fade away. I'm a firm believer that if you're with the right person, despite the lows and the occasional arguments that every couple has, the highs will always be higher than your lows and happiness will always radiate from your face when you're with one another.

Don't be anxious for things to fall apart, but for the right things to fall into place.